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I moved back to the ‘burbs eleven months ago.

Where did that eleven month chunk of time go exactly?

I must have missed it in-between job searching, resume writing, teaching, freelance projects, American Museum of Natural History, dating, EatDrinkJobs, giving up dairy, finding my friends, throwing people weddings, being Aunt Thea, painting walls, breaking down others, giving gratitude, a craptastic break up, re-writing resumes, cover letters, testing boundaries, wiping tears, interviews, networking, e-mails, Stupid Cancer, throwing things out, planning events and writing thank you notes.

And for my thirty-first birthday my mother gave me a banner that says, “You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

Love and affection is on the menu for the next eleven months.

Why is it that only when you are already on the train platform do you remember the things that were left behind? Today, the phone charger. Last week, the coffee cup. Tomorrow, the scarf that matches just so. Commuter problems.

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“Time goes faster the more hollow it is. Lives with no meaning go straight past you, like trains that don’t stop at your station.” ~ Carlos Ruiz Zafron

I have lived on Long Island (again) for 20 weeks. But, hey, who’s counting.

Commuting is intense. My skin is revolting, new patterns of bumps and redness are having a party. On. My. Face. I’m 30 and live with my parents. I am in the same room (although freshly painted) that I lived in when I was in the 9th grade. There are no perfect commuting shoes. The city is dirty. And smells. Sorry, just telling the truth.

For the first time, in a long time, I don’t have a specific goal. For as long as I can remember, there was Thea and her goal. And then I would make it happen with dedication, energy and pure will. So it’s time to get going on a new set of goals. Pronto.

On the plus side… There has been a great project with EatDrinkJobs keeping me busy. An amazing organization – StupidCancer – that has helped redefine my “cancer survivor” card. I’m even guest co-hosting the Stupid Cancer Radio Show tomorrow night! Finding a local sushi joint, Yuzu. My sister’s childhood best friend has become my train, gym, food shopping buddy. More importantly a built-in friend. Thank goodness for small miracles.

No one said adjusting to Long Island (again) was going to be easy. No one said it was going to be this hard either, but at least the waterworks don’t run every night.

“Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul” 
~ George Harrison

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