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After a weekend in the “country” I am headed back to my “other” life. When I first moved upstate there were so many emotions and uncertainties. And here I am living somewhere else and still have just as many uncertainties. I’m a better person for taking the risk, but the real question has become, now what? There are a few things I know for sure:
1. Moving to the country was one of the boldest things I had ever done and there are many people who would have never taken the leap. I am proud of myself for doing it in the first place.
2. The decision to leave the country and pursue career opportunities elsewhere was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And there are many people who would have just stayed. I am proud that I have the will to make decisions and carry them through with conviction.
3. The relationships I have are gifts from heaven. Although I have yet to meet the “one” I have strong and supportive roots in many places and spaces. These people are loving, supportive, kind and cheer me on in all that I do. I walk into a room and people actually cheer. It’s an insane and amazing reaction to get from your peers. Apparently, as I was told this weekend, “I see why everyone is so obsessed with you.” Humbled. And thankful.
4. People are not going to change. My Dad’s theory reins true, we are pretty much fully developed by seven years old, the rest of it is further development of our basic personality. We can expect or demand change from someone else. We can only do our own changing and growing. Including the way we react to behaviors we don’t care for. It’s our work we have to do.
“Ahh, Home
Yes, I am Home
Home is when I’m alone with you.”
~ Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
Why is it that only when you are already on the train platform do you remember the things that were left behind? Today, the phone charger. Last week, the coffee cup. Tomorrow, the scarf that matches just so. Commuter problems.
“Time goes faster the more hollow it is. Lives with no meaning go straight past you, like trains that don’t stop at your station.” ~ Carlos Ruiz Zafron
Thea Sphere 